"Ow, my balls!" - A touch of Idiocracy on Smackdown Live

After a humdinger edition of Monday Night Raw, Smackdown came out of their corner swingin' with a couple of fun Dean Ambrose/AJ Styles confrontation, some new feuds teased, and the continuation of the Smackdown tag title tournament.

First off, the women's divison on Smackdown is starting to define itself through some great character tweaks. Naomi's new look and entrance is very "fire", as the kids say, and hopefully that will help her stand out from the pack. Also, I just like glow in the dark stuff. Carmella's heel turn seems to be working, as picking on Nicki Bella week after week is slowing turning her into a heat magnet. They have an uphill battle ahead of them, with fan favorites like Bayley and Sasha Banks on Raw, but protraying these women as fierce competitors rather than eye candy is a good start. I'll admit I was worried the Smackdown divison was going to be the more "Total Divas" of the two, but there's some good rasslin' in there bah gawd.

Ziggler called out Miz while he continued his ranting that started on last week's headline-worthy edition of Talking Smack. Miz played his part perfectly, portraying the hypocritical heel while I *think* people still want to love Ziggler after his brief title feud with Dean. The Dean/Ziggler match never lived up to the build, but this is a good spot for him right now since Miz talking trash about the beloved Daniel Bryan makes him a hated man in the eyes of fans, and Ziggler's style represents the opposite of the "cowardly" style Miz has been accused of employing.

A little bit of 90's Attitude entered the tag title tourney this week in the form of the returning Headbangers. This is a tag team I'd forgotten about almost completely, but once they got in the ring and mixed it up with Slater and Rhyno, I was immediately transported back to the good old days, when all I had to worry about was a spelling test and whether daddy would come home drunk or not. Slater and Rhyno went over (as they should) and Heath's quest to earn a Smackdown contract continues. I said it last week, but I like what they're doing with Slater.

Apollo Crews challenged AJ Styles and came up short after a backstage confrontation. Crews is wasted potential at this point and I think he'd be better served by a character change, as his smiling babyface persona lacks intensity and he's building a losing streak. The point of all this is really just to put over the fact that AJ Styles wants to remind us every chance he can get that he sent John Cena packing at SummerSlam a la Paul Heyman when Brock broke The Undertaker's streak. I like the story, but the crowd loves AJ too much to ever boo him, as least for the time being.

Kane beat a jobber calling himself The Milkman. I'm loving the use of jobbers on both shows; that's another throwback and it's better than burying guys on your regular roster. He had a little staredown with Baron Corbin as they crossed paths on the ramp. They did pretty much the exact same thing with Corbin while he was on NXT. He likes to hit his music before the other guys have cleared the arena. Expect alpha male shenanigans to ensue.

Corbin's match with the champ Dean Ambrose was a timid affair compared to Raw's main event last night, but both guys put in some work. Styles was at ringside for this match and his attempted interference at the end concluded with him getting crotched and Dean mocking him with a handshake. It was a funny ending to a so-so match. I think these two are going to knock it out of the park when they finally meet, but for now everything they do is going to rest in the shadow of Owens surprise victory on monday.

In conclusion . . .

Smackdown tried valiantly, but I'd say Raw put on the better show this week with that huge four way main event and the surprise turn with Hunter and K.O. at the end. Still, both brands are doing things that make me happy as a viewer and the emphasis on both brands has been on WRESTLING. It's a good time to be a fan and a hard time to be a hater.

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Getting our buzzards in a row

When Bray Wyatt moved up from NXT to the main roster, it felt like the second coming of The Undertaker. (Well, for me it did.) He had a spooky/cool entrance and an aura built into his character that every new wrestlers hopes for. He was a preacher, a doomsayer, and a harbinger of destruction. During his SummerSlam debut in 2013 against Kane, it felt like there was a new "big bad" in the WWE. It's been a bumpy road since then; feuds against Chris Jericho and John Cena and the like that were intended to increase his star power ended up backfiring in weird ways, and eventually the crowd started reacting not out of fear, but out of admiration for the self-proclaimed Eater of Worlds.

Many times on his podcast, Jim Ross has made an argument for Bray becoming what he calls a "character babyface". It does make sense. Wyatt is good on the mic and fans really seem to dig the whole "firefly" gimmick. It is pretty staggering to see all those iPhones light up when his music hits. Flanked by various iterations of his family, Bray is designed to be a bad guy. They can intervene on his behalf, help him escape danger, or even act as a wall against babyfaces like Roman Reigns. But his role as a "heel" doesn't seem to want to take. Maybe his persona and his sermons appeal to our lesser urges? Maybe it's a counter-culture thing.

As of last Tuesday night, Bray has been pitted against the recently Brock-battered Randy Orton. While I like the idea of these two mixing it up, this seems like a recipe for disaster for two reasons. The first is inconsistency, which the 'E is no stranger to when booking matches and angles. It seemed like Bray was set to turn on his acolyte Eric Rowan after walking out on him during a match the previous week. They seem to have let that loose end remain loose in a manner reminiscent of Chris Claremont's X-Men. Is he going to play the spoiler during a Wyatt/Orton match. Maybe, but I doubt it. Cynical little "smark" that I am, I fully expect the WWE to leave this hanging and hope we forget about it.

Reason number two: this might actually hurt both performers. Not physically, like a Seth Rollins powerbomb onto the apron, but it will hurt their perceived characters. Fans want to interact with Bray in the form of fireflies and they want to cheer Orton as well because of the sheer awesomeness of the whole "RKO outta nowhere!" bit. Babyface versus babyface matches can work under certain cricumstances, but here it's not the intention. WWE wants Bray Wyatt to play the villain, but he's too cool. He's too "alt".

In this wrestling fan's opinion (and I have it on good authority that Vince McMahon checks this blog every day), Bray should do away with the cool entrance. Or any kind of entrance at all. Bray should just appear, call out the people for being sheep and avoid Orton or any other opponent like the plague. A good heel should never do anything to appease the vox populi. He should taunt, sneer, laugh, and run like hell. He should slip out of the RKO nine out of ten times.

Bray Wyatt shouldn't care about the conventions of WWE's televised product. It bugs me that he and his former "family" even adhered to the recent brand split at all. (I though they would be pretty interesting as outliers anyway.) He should regain his villain status by doing everything possible to make you hate him. We don't need another beloved heel running around--we already have that in Kevin Owens. In short: less "kewl", more nasty.

Bray probably has a bright future ahead of him in the WWE. His character is gradually evolving over time and he seems to be able to retain some fan interest, even when he isn't in a big feud or booked on a pay-per-view. We've yet to see the ceiling for his potential. His offense is savage, his mannerisms are strange, and his promos are just on the cusp of being truly great. I just don't want to see him become the next Kane or Big Show, flip-flopping between heel and babyface roles with no clear direction. And that's not a knock on those men either, it's all about the booking.

Or just listen to Jim Ross. He seems to know a thing or two about rasslin'.

Thanks for reading! As always, you can find me on Twitter (@ChrisBComics) or on the Facebooks (chris.bearden.98). I also like to let my geek flag fly in a number of other places, including (but not limited to) Back Issue Diving and Gotham Animated.

Well, ain't that a kick in the teeth: Smackdown hits Austin, Tx

Raw was a pretty good show this week. Let's see if the blue brand can keep up the pace.

Heath Slater is working double duty again this week, getting up in Randy Orton's grill just like he did with Lesnar the previous night. I like what they're doing with Slater here. I hope it goes somewhere. The poor guy has suffered through some ridiculous angles during his time with the 'E. I'd like to see him get his shot at a midcard title. He's funnier as a lone wolf than as ringleader of a group like 3MB or the Social Outcasts.

Dolph Ziggler made my night with that Super Kick OUTTA NOWHERE on Dean Ambrose during the MizTV segment. He's showing a lot of fire in this feud and Dean might have bitten off more than he can chew when it comes to going move for move with Mr. Ziggles. Also, Miz's role on Smackdown with Maryse by his side parallels what they're doing with Rusev and Lana on Raw. Midcard champs with sexy valets are back!

Apollo Creed came out to spoil Miz's fun during the commercial break. Oh shucks, did I say "Creed"? I'm not sure how I feel about them taking Daniel Bryan's little verbal slip-up from last week and running with it, but hey--that what they do in WWE. They make lemonade. I like Crews, but I don't know where he's headed right now. The rosters on both shows are pretty stacked; it might serve him better to lie low on NXT for a while . . .

The entire Smackdown tag division was split into heels and babyfaces for a six on six tag match. Fun stuff, even if its not that substantial. Just a chance for everyone to get their stuff in. It was almost like a live highlight reel for Smackdown's tag team potential. The good guys win thanks to American Alpha's team Perfectplex-type move. A lot of potentially great match-ups here. Expect Smackdown to get their own tag title belts sooner than later.

(Man, remember when The Ascension ran roughshod over NXT for nearly a year? Neither does the WWE, lol.)

Naomi has a cool new glow-in-the-dark bodysuit and entrance to match. Eva Marie was unable to compete due to being "stuck in traffic". I hope this gimmick of her working her way out of matches gets some heat, otherwise it could backfire. I like the angle, though.

Randy Orton got himself disqualified for beating on poor Slater a little too much. Then he mocked his Summerslam opponent Lesnar by suplexing Heath a few times and mocking his mannerisms. It's been a nice build up to their match, but the real star here is Slater. Like I said before, hopefully this leads to bigger things for him.

Dean Ambrose defeated Eric Rowan while Bray Wyatt looked on. Wyatt ditched him after his defeat, setting up a feud between the two. Just two weeks ago, I was expecting Wyatt to insert himself into the Ambrose/Ziggler title match, but it seems they have other plans for the Eater of Worlds. They've tried this kind of thing before with Rowan, but it didn't stick.

Beck Lynch and Carmella faced Natalya and Alexa Bliss. It was a decent tag match. Eva Marie tried to sneak in and pick up the scraps, but her would-be opponent Naomi ran back out to chase her off. It went all Looney Tunes for a minute like the tag exhibition earlier, but hey, at least everyone here has a part to play. Raw and NXT definitely have the stronger Women's divisions for the time being.

Baron Corbin is still picking on Kalisto backstage. What a bully. I feel like Corbin is another guy who was moved up from NXT a little too fast. I think they're trying to hide his somewhat limited in-ring work, but to what end? I still like his entrance with the red spotlights, so he's got that going for him.

The show ended with a nice main event between John Cena and Alberto Del Rio, with Cena's Summerslam opponent AJ Styles on commentary. (I forgot they were having a match this Sunday; man, there's too much going on in WWE right now.) It was a valiant effort by both guys, but I think Roman and Rusev put on more of a spectacle. AJ tried to sneak attack Cena and got AA'd through the announce table for his trouble. I take back what I said yesterday about Enzo & Cass vs. Owens & Jericho. THIS match will steal the show.

This was fun. Both Austin and Corpus got some great wrestling, and even with Summerslam less than a week away, it didn't feel like anybody was holding back. The WWE has been firing on all cylinders since the brand split, and I hope the hard work by all involved pays off in the form of some stronger TV ratings. This is NOT the 'E for 2010. There's plenty to enjoy, and you have to be trying pretty hard to be a hater right now.

(Garsh, maybe I'm just too optimistic for my own good?)

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