The "blading" part of the title is literal today folks, as Mr. Valentine gets busted open in this one. This edition of Work/Shoot might not be for the faint of heart. Also, The Hammer's do is pretty fabulous in this match (I had the same thing goin' when I was in junior high), so be forewarned if forearmed when it comes to that as well.
This match is the culmination of a feud between the then-reigning WWF champ Backlund and his erstwhile nemesis Greg "The Hammer" Valentine. They had clashed for over four months, with Valentine stealing the title belt itself from a dazed referee and holding it captive as he toured other territories.
(It turns out this is something that used to occur quite a bit back in the day. Before wrestling events were broadcast nationally, there would be a bit of wool pulling with the fans. This is was a promoter's trick that allowed them to get folks from other territories to become invested in their storylines. Meanwhile, in the "home" territory, the title would change hands and new angles could press on.)
Their rivalry was set to end once and for all inside of a steel cage at the Philadelphia Spectrum arena. Ah, the steel cage match. It's an old standby, a way of telling your audience, "He ran off last time before your hero could get his revenge, but this time there's no escape!" The cage being used here is pretty primitive compared to the sturdier stuff the 'E uses now. Heck, this is even from before the blue barred cages were in use. It looks flimsy, dangerous, and I don't envy the man who attempts to climb out of it.
(You only get one pair of God-given testes, kids. It's up to you to determine what manner of metal structure you mangle them on.)
Oh yeah, Bob Backlund's here. Younger readers might recognize him as the strange man that follows Darren Young to the ring on Raw and yells at him, but he used to be a pretty big deal. Before Hulk Hogan was brought in by Vince McMahon, Backlund was their number one white-meat babyface. His temperament was something to behold, which would often result in some unintentionally hilarious facial expressions and spastic movements. On this particular night, however, he looks a bit more collected and focused than in his previous big matches with greats like Ken Patera and "Superstar" Billy Graham.
Greg Valentine, the challenger claiming to be champ, had developed a reputation for breaking the legs of his opponents. Classic stuff; drawing heat by fighting dirty. Nowadays you have heels like Seth Rollins who just go in there and bust people up for real, but I digress . . .
The match starts with a hungry Backlund on the attack but quickly the men separate. This is a bumpy start to me, since such a vendetta between two guys should mean a more ravenous lock-up to start. It isn't long before Backlund is back on the attack. It occurred to me at this point that Valentine really is here just to drop the strap. He's almost helpless for most of it and the whole point of this encounter is cathartic release. Catharsis for Backlund who want to put this phony thug down for good and catharsis for the fans who want to see their hero bust up Valentine, a man who'd taken out such greats as Chief Jay Strongbow with his dirty tactics.
As you well know, there are two methods of winning the match in a cage: climbing over the top or stepping out the door. Valentine goes for the latter once he finally breaks away from Backlund. This sequence brings about one more gasp of "Oh God no!" from the announcers and the crowd as Valentine is inches away from getting to the floor when Backlund grabs his leg. This is my favorite bit of the match. Backlund straining to hold onto Valentine foot and prevent him from tumbling out onto the floor.
Finally yanking Valentine back in, Backlund gets to have his way with the heel for a bit longer. This is such a simple match, but it perfectly demonstrates the roller coaster of emotion that any self-respecting main eventer strives for. The crowd is back from the brink of despair, cheering Backlund on as he gets to wallop The Hammer for a bit more, made all the more impressive since Backlund's persona was wearing thin with fans at the time. Valentine's manager, The Grand Wizard, even dubbed Backlund "Howdy Doody" in a promo during the buildup. Sick burn.
("The Grand Wizard" That name might not fly in these tumultuous times. One love, guys.)
Bob scoops him up super fast and seals the deal with a piledriver. A really painful looking one, to boot. A simple match like the last one I bladed, with the heel/face dynamics thrown for a loop. Since this was the feud capper, Valentine didn't really need to draw anymore heat. Backlund is your champ once again, regaining the stolen belt that commemorates his ranking.
Thanks for reading! Tomorrow, I'm going to divulge some ideas for WWE's current boogeyman Bray Wyatt a.k.a. fan fiction.
Twitter: @ChrisBComics
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E-mail: backissuechris@gmail.com
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